What is the point of presents without presence

In a world that is getting busier by the day, one of the major things that most people are craving, is presence.

Have you ever found yourself in a conversation with someone, who appears to be a million miles away in their own thoughts? They are not really focusing on you and it can feel like they are not listening at all. 

What did that feel like for you? How did it make you feel about that person? Or about yourself?

Or maybe you can remember a time that someone was talking to you, or simply wanting your attention, and your mind was so full and busy that you didn’t give them your attention.

This week it was my amazing husbands birthday… and I was trying to work out what to get him for his birthday, he already has so many toys and gadgets……
I asked myself, what would he want.. and then I realised …. he wanted my time!!! He wanted my presence!

It has been quite full on in our house this year, and I have been highly distracted with business, study and horse competitions along with the general farm and mum duties and all the stuff in between. It has often been the case that my loving husband has been getting what is left of me, rather than the best of me, and for him that is hard as his way of loving is through quality time together.

That morning on his birthday, when I told him that his gift from me was my undivided attention and time, my focus and presence. I have honestly never seen him so full of joy in a gift I had given, his response was the biggest grin, a warm hug and the words “that is the best gift I could ever get!

We sometimes under estimate the power of our presence, our time, our focused attention with those we love.

I remember another time, my son and I went to the shop on one occasion and he asked to buy a toy from the toy bucket at our local store.

When we got home, he was so excited to play with it and asked me to play with him. I looked at my list of jobs and reluctantly told him … ‘I was too busy’. He paused for a moment, and dropping his shoulders he looked at me and said, “What is the point in having the toy, if you won’t play with it, with me“.

He was right!! What is the point in a present without presence!

Needless to say, I played with my son and his new toy and it was wonderful! We connected, we laughed, our hearts were full.  

Being able to give the gift of your full presence to your relationships is oh so rewarding both for you as the giver and also for the receiver.  You know the old saying people don’t remember how you look or what you did,  they’ll remember how you made them feel’?

And sometimes we all need a little reminding to stop doing busy and start being present.

I want to challenge you to really consciously focus on being truly present in your relationships during this next week or so.  Whether it be with your children, your partner, your colleagues, your friends. Commit to giving them all of your presence in the moment.

Five minutes of your presence is worth more than an hour of your distracted time.
Five minutes of your presence is worth more than any toy.

Put down the phone, the washing the endless list of ‘To Do’s’ and try a little being with someone.

Try it on for the week.

I would love to know how it goes for you.
xoxo

Ally

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